Could it be?

It's been an eventful one year.

Right now, I am 19 DPO and no AF.

I feel some of the symptoms of being pregnant but I haven't taken a test. Why not you say?

Read somewhere that we should only start testing 2 weeks to 1 month late. Perhaps I'm afraid. Afraid of a BFN. Mostly it's that I don't want to spend money on the home tests, they are expensive.

I don't think it will be a BFN though. I know its weird but a couple of DPO, I noticed something strange happening to my body. It started off with the uterus feeling stretched. Then when I carried a box of 15 wine bottles to my car. I felt like I overstrained my abdomen. It wasn't a nice feeling.

Of course I immediately googled to see if I had done any damage. I guess that is just the body's way of telling me to take it easier.

And no, it doesn't feel like other months when we are not trying and AF is coming. Maybe wishful thinking, trying to see things that aren't actually there. Somehow, this month is different. Seems different to me.

I'm going to take a test this Sat, by then I will know my HCG levels will at least be of an acceptable range that will be detected by the kit.

If you are wondering, I actually already bought the test last week. 3x home tests in fact. Yes, I'm excited. It's actually taking a lot of willpower not to use it right now.

Wish me luck.

Quotable quotes

it's hard to say nothing yet sounds like you're saying something - when I learn that skill I'll be ready for a seat on the board     ~Tim Shaw

It takes time to forgive and forget

The thing is, when people apologize, they tend to get a little angry themselves if their apology isn't accepted or if the anger in the other doesn't dissipate rather quickly. The trouble is, that just won't work. If you make someone angry, whether it's your girl or someone else, it's their anger, their issues. Not yours. You have no say in how long they take to get over it. The thing you need to do, is be patient, kind, considerate and understanding. And keep up with whatever promises you made. Show that you meant it when you said you were sorry, and hope that in time she will forgive you. That's the best you can do.

http://voices.yahoo.com/how-girl-forgive-five-step-approach-3713062.html

I needed some alone time. I was on the couch surfing on my ipad. The boy kept coming up to me to talk about things and then disappear and then come back to say something. Because I was meant to be somewhere else but I cancelled that so that I could have some time to recharge, I was irritated.

After I couldn't take it anymore, I told him to pretend that I wasn't in the house. That looked to have hurt his feelings. He walked by me later as though i was invisible. And I just ignored it, thinking that he would get over it. But it didnt go away. The coldness was still there. Then even at night when I said perhaps I could have worded it better or that we should have a safe word. We even agreed what word it would be -'volcano' or 'cocoon'.

But he didn't seem to forgive or rather forget. What am I missing?

At least I told him I needed space right? Instead of playing mind games? What does a girl need to do to get some downtime around here?

Later he told me that what I am asking for is weird. That people don't normally have to hide away from external stimulus in the comfort of their own home.

 

I just had to share this

Courtesy of http://sayingimages.com/this-is-your-life-live-your-dream/

Wisdom

No one can ruin your day (without your permission). Most people will be about as happy (as they decide to be). Others can stop you temporarily (but only you can do it permanently). Whatever you are willing to out up with (is exactly what you will have). Success stops (when you do). When your ship comes in (make sure you are willing to unload it). You will never (have it all together). Life is a journey (not a destination. Enjoy the trip!). The biggest lie on the planet (“When I get what I want, I’ll be happy). The best way to escape (your problem is to solve it). I’ve leaned that ultimately (takers lose and givers win). Life’s precious moments (don’t have value, unless they are shared). If you don’t start (it’s certain you won’t arrive). We often fear the thing (we want the most). Yesterday was the deadline (for all complaints). Look for opportunities (not guarantees). Life is what’s coming (not what was). Success is getting up (one more time). Now is the most interesting (time of all). When things go wrong (don’t go with them). Sometimes, the majority only means (that all the fools are on the same side). A person who asks questions (might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn’t ask, is a fool forever). A best friend is like a four leaf clover (hard to find, and lucky to have). I don’t have to attend (every argument I’m invited to). Our eyes are placed in front (because it is more important to look ahead than behind.

Feeling Stuck

You know how sometimes you feel like you are stuck in a rut. Doing the same things, day in, day out. Nothing much changes, you are just getting older.

These are mine right now.
Problem: I can't move forward with my PR application.

Reasons why I cant move forward: I keep encountering road blocks. Right now, it's the company who can't give me a payrise to the minimum wage level necessary for me to be eligible for an ENS application until Jan 2014, where all the others get their payrises too.

If I were to change company, that would reset the necessary 1 year that i would have to be in the role, before I start negiotiating if they would like to assist me in the application again. One step forward, three steps back.


What I should do now: Wait the two months. But how do I let it go? As in, I have been applying since Aug 2013. And it has been difficult almost the whole way. Now they want to put of the pay increase two months because they can.

2. Problem: I want to take the next big step. Getting a house. Not a big one, but just sufficient for me to know that if anything goes wrong, at least i still have a roof over my head to weather the storm.

Reasons why I cant move forward: This cant be done now without my PR.


Solution: Wait until the PR is sorted then go for house viewings.

Is it because the current things i want are in someone else's hands, that's why i'm feeling this way?

Nuggets of Quotes

1. "Always accept credit" ~ DDC

refering to accepting credit even when credit is not due in a work environment.

2. "People are not against you, they are for themselves"

3. "Employers may say that they value your opinion but the hard truth is, they simply want you to tell them how great things are."

Employers may say that they value your opinion, but the hard truth is, sometimes they simply want you to tell them how great things are. - See more at: http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/2012/09/12/should-you-be-honest-at-work-not-always/#sthash.IviSGvXD.dpufEmployer

Employers may say that they value your opinion, but the hard truth is, sometimes they simply want you to tell them how great things are. - See more at: http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/2012/09/12/should-you-be-honest-at-work-not-always/#sthash.IviSGvXD.dpuf